I wuv ewww, momma

I have never been a real emotional person, I do not wear my heart on my sleeve at all. Usually when I get emotional I do so in the privacy of the bathroom, all by myself and that doesn't happen very often. At least this was true before I had a child.

Since I became a mom I have definetly become more emotional. Just the thought of my child sometimes brings tears to my eyes. I cannot read or watch the news like I used to. When I hear about a child being hurt, killed or even a mother or father being hurt or killed, I often have to go in to the bathroom and cry.

No one warned me that my heart would soften to this degree and I am quite upset about it!! Why does no one tell you about the pain you will feel because of your child? The pain that you feel when you have to leave him, the pain you feel when you stand over his crib after he has fallen asleep, the pain you feel when he climbs in your lap and gives you a kiss, the pain you feel when he yells "momma", the pain you feel when you worry about losing him. It is so painful sometimes that my heart literally aches.

Last week I felt this pain, I felt it so bad, I took a vicodin. (No not really, I'm just kidding about the Vicodin) I was dropping my son off at day care and like usual I said "Bye buddy, I love you." gave him a hug and started walking to the door. This time (for the first time) while I was walking away he said "Bye. I wuv ewww Momma." I gave him a smile and walked out the door. I stood at the door for awhile trying to keep myself from scooping him up, taking him home and never going to work again. I finally got in the car and drove to work. My heart ached all day that day.

This is a Public Service Announcement: Anyone who is childless.... please pay attention....this is a warning so you are not taken by surprise like I was. Having a child will cause your heart to ache on a regular basis. It will cause great pain and grief. It will cause every organ in your body to contort and throb. It will cause nausea, cold sweats, and tears. And no, I am not talking about labor.

I will also caution you... all of this agony and anguish is 225% worth it.

Your welcome.